We Say Gay
I was raised in a very homophobic environment where I was taught that love between two people who weren’t a man and a woman was wrong. I was taught that there were only two genders, there wasn’t a spectrum of sexuality, people can’t chose who they are, and any deviation from the norm was a perversion, a flaw, a sin. Then one day, my best friend in high school came out to me. It was the beginning of the undoing of so much pain and hate that I still am figuring out. She was kind, answered my dumb ass questions, and still was my friend even though I had been conditioned to reject her and her identity. And being not mentally prepared for *personal growth*, I filed “being homophobic” as something that wouldn’t be part of my outward persona, and I’d condemn anyone who was homophobic to blend in. Eventually I realized that I could not hide it- it was a little judgmental voice that haunted me and influenced my decisions about people and politics. It was something to be dissected, dissembled, and destroyed bit by bit. And through that, I began to untangle my racism, misogyny, and other various biases that come so naturally in this society. So thank you, dear queer community, for helping me see all of this by simply being brave enough to be yourselves. I am so lucky to have so many as friends.
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To this day I am still unlearning, and I remind myself that in my unlearning, my atonement for my bias is that I must reach out to others who have not come as far as I have. As allies, we can not appropriate LGBTQA+ trauma and use it justify passive support; we must shoulder the weight of fighting for gay and transgender rights by speaking where they are silenced or unwelcome. We must reach out to our family and friends who reject them and reason with them the best we can, and we must support legislation that protects gay folk and emphasizes equality.
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So we must say gay, and we must emphasize the importance of talking about these things. We must educated young people about what it means to be human: to love, to empathize, to communicate, to cherish each other in all differences, and to help everyone see the bigger picture of love. ???#wesaygay
